"...people tend to play act at being someone else in anonymous settings and be more realistic and honest in nonymous environments" (Grasmuck, et al., 2009, p. 158)
Initially this bold statement took me by surprise. I would assume that given the opportunity for total safety the person(s) would be inclined to brutal truth or letting it all hang out. Then I started to look into my own past. As someone in their mid-20’s I remember being in my very early teens and getting on chat rooms and being a raucous Amazonian goddess…. With all of the other - all too perfect chat room users.
Then Facebook came along. I joined just as I moved cross country as a way to appease my friends and family (mostly Mom) that I was alive and well. Then, as it is want to do, I was sucked in. I was adding pictures, finding long lost friends, sharing life experiences, documenting (read: complaining about) the daily struggle of living on my own 1,300 miles from home, and of course the obligatory updates on the all too important activities of my 7-toed cat Darkrawr. The validity of my statements was backed by my new acquaintances. They proved or disproved, without me asking, what I updated for my friends and family.
I am no longer pretending to be an exotic creature. I am a down home girl from the mid-west, someone I am proud of. My few exotic nights at the bar are broadcast for all to see with one simple click from a “tag” happy friend. Why hide what we are all doing? These daily experiences are what create our rich lives and ability to interact and connect (virtually and in real life) with those around us. Facebook became my honesty machine, allowing me to be who I really am today.
Work Cited
Grasmuck, S., Martin, J. and Zhoa, S. (2009), Ethno-Racial Identity and Displays on Facebook. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 15, 158-188. doi: 10.1111/j.1083-6101.2009.01498.x
10 comments:
Shannon,
It refreshing to hear facebook became your "honesty machine". I like the fact that you use it to enhance your personal experiences.
I worry about younger adults hiding from interaction with others by using the web as their solo social outlet.
Hi Shannon- Your post reminded me of the concept of the looking glass self (Cooley)--applied to a virtual environment! In this case, Facebook became the way that you reflected on and learned more about your self!
Cute photo!
*Janet*
Hi Shannon,
I have to wonder if sometimes people "pretend" in social networking environments to hide insecurities. I have a friend who gained A LOT of weight over the last year and yet her Facebook page still shows a 140lb woman. It is a picture of her technically. So is that lying or just being insecure about her new body? Also, is it possible that some people actually see themselves the way that they portray themselves in online environments?
I liked your blog you Amazonian Goddess! Because, yes if you believe you are an Amazonian goddess then so do I!
See you soon,
Aron
Shannon -
I like your story. I find myself most often a member of the play acting group if I am in an online environment. I have, however, much like yourself learned to embrace a more accurate picture of myself on Facebook (once I set my privacy settings as high as possible, and 'unfriended' a few tag-happy friends). I now use to to keep in touch with my true friends and also to update them on my life. Many of my friends and even some of my family is spread out across the world which makes it that much more useful to have an accurate self portrait on Facebook. As for the rest of the Internet, I still enjoy remaining in disguise. Your description of the "like" button made me giggle, and I am jealous of the genius behind your cats name. It sounds so ferocious!
Janet,
In regards to your post "My few exotic nights at the bar are broadcast for all to see with one simple click from a “tag” happy friend. Why hide what we are all doing?"
Do you worry about what you are doing? Today it is not uncommon for employers to check up on employees. I don't know how "exotic" your evenings are, but if it arouses feelings of discomfort you may find yourself to be sanctioned even if unfairly. Social media can be a tool to stay informed, but it can also be used against you. Reading your blog reminded me of when I was full of self-confidence.
Awe the lovely Facebook addiction...
Personally, I had never used Facebook until just last year, and now I wonder, "How did I ever do without it?"
Shannon - I too often wonder how many people are updating their pages with the fantacies of how grand their lives are. I share some things here and there, but overall I must admit I don't post my bad or mean thoughts. I don't want to risk the exposure of sharing my intimate feelings with my "friends" (people I knew at one time, but never really make time for now for whatever reasons). LOL
Anyhow, I am happy that Facebook allows you to be "you!"
Myra
Hi Shannon,
Ahhh, it’s good to know that other people find Facebook their “honesty machine. ” Amongst other things, I too, have been sucked into the time consuming honesty addiction of Facebook. While I do believe that people tend to be very honest on Facebook, I also find that sometimes it is an inappropriate amount of honesty. It is refreshing to hear that you don’t feel that you have to represent yourself as an “exotic creature” and that you have learned to just be yourself. However, on the flip side of things, I have been noticing lately that perhaps Facebook is too honest for me – if there’s such a thing. Let me give you an example, I have several friends that use Facebook as their “constant complaining machine.” At first you don’t notice because it appears that maybe a particular someone is just having a bad day (which we all have on occasion). However, soon, you start to notice a trend in the news feed that certain people are ONLY posting their downs of life rather than having a real life news feed that includes some of the good. There was one friend in particular that I noticed this with so I decided to look directly at her profile to see if I just happened to be catching her updates on her bad days, or if in fact all she was doing was constant complaining. Well, I discovered that it wasn’t just her; several of my “friends” all from different parts of my life (i.e. high school and previous employers) seem to just constantly post negative things about their lives. I tend to think that these people are not really as negative as they appear; rather they are looking for sympathy. You made mention of people either “proving or disproving” (validating) your posts (I assume you mean through “likes” and comments). I think that’s what my friends are looking for. They have a hard time actually reaching out, in person, to their friends so instead they just post their feelings in an attempt to make themselves feel better based on all the comments received. I hate to admit it, but I have “de-friended” those people. I would rather get on Facebook and see happy posts and pictures of my friend’s cute kids than read about yet another depressing rant. Thanks for your blog; it certainly has made me reflect on what I am looking to gain from Facebook.
April
Shannon, what an interesting post. I enjoyed reading it and it reminded me about some statistics i read a few weeks ago regarding social media and honesty. I believe that people tend to exagerate the truth on social media networks. I am glad that your facebook page is the truth and not a fantasy.
Amos
Thanks to all who commented, I was surprised to find such a response.
In regards to many peoples' responses voicing concern with "over-sharing" and the way that is perceived by others, especially those we don't interact with regularly or employers, I say - "It comes with the territory." Everything must be taken with a grain of salt. If I decide to leave myself open (with little to no security settings/negative updates/or poor public choices) to being tracked down, then that is a consequence I must deal with. These consequences can be far reaching and it can be hard to see what will come of them, but so is leaving the house everyday.
Thanks again for the great feedback and honest reflection. It means a lot to me when we cause one another to reflect and grow.
~Shannon
I keep getting the invitation to join face book from family and friends. I choose not too participate due to fact a lot of your personnel information is out where everyone can view. I think its great for those who choose to communicate in this manner, but for us who choose to pick up the phone and call still works so why fix what is not broken. So until my phone quits working I will be calling and yes sending a text message.
Thomas
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