“I feel bad that my son does not ask me to speak at his school on career day.”

Five a.m., and the alarm has never sounded so loud. Rolling out of bed, my eyes are still filled with sleep and my head is still crowded with blurred ideas. I take my first step and have to silently scream as my foot is punctured by a transformer that never made it to the toy box. My two children are still asleep and I am hoping they stay that way for at least another hour. In this hour I have to feed and water the dog, switch the laundry and fold what is in the dryer, empty the dishwasher, pick up the other toys that are strewn around the house, take a shower, pack a diaper bag, pack a back pack, pull something out of the freezer for dinner, and dress myself. Next I have to rouse the children, dress them, and get them packed into the car to drop them off at the babysitters or school. It is not until then that I rush myself to my job, yes a job, I am still working toward my degree and career choice.

I am taking the long road in education, having already logged nearly ten years in college moving progressively through three different universities in three different cities and thousands of hours behind the screen of my computer. Each class is moving me closer to what any individual would want; a career that you don’t just do, but love to do. A career is more than a job, it is more than providing income for your family it is a passion. It is clear that my education path hasn’t followed the four year one school norm; mostly because I am first a mother. Presently I work for a hospital as secretary, answering phones, taking meeting minutes, planning trips and creating reports. My son often asks me if I am a doctor, and when I tell him no, he always asks me if he can just pretend that is what I do.

For me like many women today, the choice has been laid out between family and career. The idea that a mother would want a career is not foreign, just not completely understood. Once a woman has children, society places a sort of obligation to that woman to put their newly created family first. This notion is not off the mark, but because of the other views society has about what it takes to maintain a career, many are not even allowed the choice of both. For that reason, women are first to give up their career or at least put it on hold to be there for the family. After this is done, the next blow given by society often comes in comments related to not working as much or even not working in a job that has anything to do with their education path. The guilt is hard to deal with. Woman want to succeed and they want the family but the options are just not there. Becoming a mother often takes on new challenges, ones that don’t require a degree. These new challenges most often looks to solve simple personal needs, like being available for your family or even letting go of a few luxuries to offer more for the sake of the family. In the end many women that become mothers have taken on jobs that no longer demand the years of education they have put in, but merely ask for the time commitment.

For those women that have set their dreams aside for their families I commend you. The personal struggle is deep and troubling at times. The gain you feel giving to your family is often pulled down as you know you are capable of also giving to a company. Even though there is a lot of turmoil for women in this situation the long term gain is more rewarding than what you would receive from any career.

Chisholm P., D. S. (1999, March 1). The mother load. Maclean's , pp. Vol 112; Issue 9, p46,5p.