What's Next?
"Starting over is a huge step at any age and resilience is more important than age alone. However, people over 40 and beyond have the gift of experience weighing in on their side"
(Retrieved June 20, 2009 from http://www.helium.com/items/246191-life-starting-over-at-40-50-and-60)
There are many of us out there who are taking second and sometimes third chances or more, starting over; going back to school, starting a new career, remarrying, or starting a new phase in our lives. We go through many phases in our development in life. For example, in our 20's we are so busy trying to figure it out; we are setting goals but there are so many unknowns. In our 30's we think we have it figured out and we think we have the greatest wisdom to live by. By our 40's we reflect upon our accomplishments and we start realizing how much have not figured out, so began making changes and deliberate choices to move forward in new directions.
Forty is a decade that most women start thinking about the other side of their life, so they go back to school to advance in their careers or change careers altogether. Re-making and reshaping their lives and situation for more exciting and rewarding opportunities and lifestyle. Some people re-marry at forty, relocate to other cities and states, and etc...
Forty is like a crossroad period. Most people need the change in order to feel fulfilled, useful or that they can contribute to a better life for them-selves, their friends and others in the work environment or in the community in general.
Change can be difficult and deliberately starting over can be scary and extremely difficult. But for those of us who have been through difficult times before, we understand that perseverance is a good friend. People who win in life move forward by taking one foot and placing it in front of the other. They never give up and they rely on the at hand resources they have been blessed with. " Life can knock you down and trample your expectations, but you have a choice of staying down or getting up and that's what defines your ability to start over."
7 comments:
I beleive one of the most important things to remember when you are starting over after forty is that you are not alone - there are many of us out there. It can be intimidating, scary, and all too easy to get wrapped up in emotional baggage. Face the crossroad head-on with passion, courage, and confidence. As I entered my forties as a college student again, I found myself enjoying my new-found passion for education and here I sit with my son in middle school doing our homework together...
Comming from a home where I was raised by a single parent and watching my mom work her tail off until she was 56 (and still working), I can honestly say, I hope thats not me. Its not that I wouldnt mind having the wisdom, strenth, or determination of my mother. Its just that, I'm 27 and I kindof hope that I dont remarry at 40. I hope that I dont ever have to go back to school, geez its been 10 years and I'm still not done, I'd hate to see if I ever did have to go back! I think its amazing that women at any age in their life have the strength to "start over", but I hope that I can continue my life in a forward motion. I hope that my life is just one achievement after another. Its not that I think I never fail, but I just dont want to get to the point where I actually have to leave everything behind and "start over". But then again who knows, if my mom had never started over, she would still be married to my father, still be miserable, and I would probably be nothing like I am today, if it hadnt been for what I learned from her.
Being over the age of forty, I have come to a major intersection in the crossroads of my life. The reassessment process has left me feeling empty, as if, I didn’t live up to my expectations, so I decided to make a change, not settle for mediocrity, and do something extraordinary with the remainder of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am an eternal optimist, but at some point in your life, you may quite possibly realize, you have been traveling down a road, walking blinding without really thinking about where you are going. I think the hardest part is admitting that you have gone astray for over forty years and that your path in life is in need of adjustment. Once you make this realization, the next obstacle is breaking down the stereotypical notion that you can’t possibly make a change at this late stage in life; however, I am here to tell you that you can. Self determination and a belief in one’s own abilities are a must if you are to endeavor to change your life at this point. Next, get rid of the negative people that tell you will are too old to accomplish your dreams, and embrace the people that encourage and celebrate your journey. What really helps also is the belief of someone close to your heart. At times when you have depleted your stores of self confidence, a gentle word of encouragement can take you further than you would have thought possible. I have been lucky, because I met someone that always has words of encouragement to pursue my dreams and aspirations. Life ends when we stop pursuing the dreams that ignite our soul and flame our desires.
Starting over is diffucult once you reach forty. But it is also exciting. I recieved my first degree at fourty-two and is was the proudest moment of my life. And now I am close two fifty and going for a second diploma. I believe that life is about being open to new experiences. Thats what makes life exciting and good. Starting over can be scary but it is also exciting.
Forty doesn't have to be the end of life. It can be the opportunity for a new, close to new, beginning. I believe it's about perception: Do you see the glass as half empty or half full. Keep it half full!
My new life began at 50. I'm loving it. It is never to late to do the things that you love at any age. In fact the older the better. I more appreciative.
The last 50 years went by pretty fast; I sure am going to give my next 50 years all I have. Wooh Hoo!
Starting over at 40, so true. I've seen my best friends and sister become these different women, BETTER women! It seems to be that at 40 you finally figure out what YOU want as you, not as a mother, daughter, wife, etc. It is a period of awakening and strengthening. I believe that after all of the years of catering, enabling, and fixing everyone, women finally say "it's all about me" and have no regrets. :o) I sure do look forward to my 40th birthday!
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